rents & siblings

dear mummy,
i love you. i miss the days when we would just roam around for new clothes, new shoes and you'd dress me like your live barbie. i was young, and i would nod at everything you suggested. i love the way you used to brush my hair, you cut it, brush it, plat it. you would put a dress on me, always some shade of pink, n tell me "oh my, i wished my mother dressed me this way back then, but i'm not lucky enough to have my mum by my side, they were divorced." yu'd look out the window, and pray & promise that it'll never happen to yur daughter. but mummy, it happend anyways, & i know your not to blame, its okay, im living. i lost yu for 3 years there mum, 3 fucking years that i wasnt allowed to contact yu, im just happy to have yu back in my life. ive worked so hard to make yu happy mum, i wish i could tell yu everything ive been through to stay by your side, to cope with life, it was hard but yu were there, everyday. im so sorry i ruined it, life ruined it, & now im right bak where i started, only being able to hear yu through a telephone. every fucking person tells me the same thing, to never grow up to be like yu, yu were too free, yu followed yur heart, yu loved someone that'll never treat yu right, i cant reverse anything, i cant be yur lil girl anymore, but i want yu to know, im proud of yu, im proud of the way yu believd in the word love, & im just like yu <3




dad,
well, im listening to "when im gone", so does that say something about the way i feel? i love you, but yur my main sorce of pain. i want yu to be happy but im not alive to live to yur standards, they're too high, im not here to heal the pain in yur life, i have my own pains, im dont exist so i could listen to yur raging & blames, no ones perfect. im sorry in this life i cant be what yu expected, im sorry im yur main sorce of shame, & yu make me cry every night. im sorry im me, and im sorry yur yu. im sorry life pushed us together, im sorry that we're related. im sorry dad.




dear siblinggs,
hahahaa, well, im the bigg sis ofc, yu guys are so younggg. it's like lil dolls running around the house. im sorry i keep my distance sometimes, i dont like lil kidss, too noisyy. specially lil boys, its like OMG == but i love yur company sarah, yur kool xD nah i love yu threee <3
just have an awesome life when yuus hit my age, study hard, and make sure yu guys are obedient to rents, shit relo with rents= a headache that even panadol cant fix. just grow up to be nothing like me, be nerdddy, be good & stay home on the weekends. make me proud. love & be loved. <3>