i hate you.

i truly hate you;
but someone told me
hate is the closest emotion to love.
damm

identity

identity, who you are, & where you belong
nobody wonders those on a daily basis, but lately ive started that bad habit
everyday i would sit, wait for a miracle to happen
maybe a genie that'll tell me who i really am
i used to think that i belonged to my parents
i used to think that i belonged to a school
i used to think that i belonged to a certain crowd
i used to think that i belonged to a lifestyle
i used to think that i belonged to a haircolour
i used to think that i belonged to him
i used to think, i belonged to something out there.
until all that crashed down on me, reality cruely creeping into every part of me
saying, no, it aint yur destiny
then i held on to the hope that i belonged to myself
but my own heart pushed me away and told me
no, it aint your destiny






____ hun,
i think i found my 'destiny' when i saw you today
out of nowhere, always like this, always unplanned
everytime you appear, catching me offguard
everytime i fall, you manage to let go
my destiny was not with you
it was not with me
i finally realised where'd it went
but i have no directions to follow
you threw it away, locked the doors and abandoned the keys
didnt even give me a chance to see my own future unfold.

not good enough.

"im not good enough for you"

thats a phrase that is over-used to the max, usually accompanied by "its not you, its me." ive sed that many times & i didnt mean it, ive heard the ones i loved say that to me & i know they didnt mean it.

but if whoever may believe, have the last bit of faith in me, then take it in when i say this once again.

"im not good enough for you"

you really do care for me, i can tell, i can see it, hear it, feel it. but im not good enough for yu.

this time, believ it when i try to say, its not you, its me.

im sorry for making you confused, truth is im more confused than you

i don't know what im doing, saying, feeling

i just know i shouldn't drag yu into this cyclone of misunderstandings.

i dont know what life means, what the future holds for me

i just know i should let yu walk straigh ahead without my interuptions

i dont know what caring for sumone is like, or vice-versa, being taken care of feels like

i just know that you send me a warm vibe, that i shouldn't take for granted

i dont know what i have to say to make things right

i just know that if i pick up my fone your one the other side waiting

i dont know nothing

i just know that you're everything i'd never be

i dont know what love really mean

i just know that i love him dearly.

so sorry, im not good enough for you

i just know that i'd only deserve a hugg thats friendly.

life in general x)

life sucks when detensions are required, i swear :P

whats happening lately, hmmmm

i just know that me& lar havent been home before curefew in a while.. TT''

and i havent had enough money to even catch a movie for a while

so thankyuuus justin & justin for shoutingg k & drinks, xD

thankyuuu alice & libby for shouting ice-creams & food

thankyuu bibs for shouting YOU-KNOW-WHAT :LL

and sorry chang cos i broke ur laptop case, ill replace yurs with mine=)

(if im feeling generous that is)

but hey yu BURNT MY EYELASHES, that makes up for anything i do xD

so yeaa ppls, my eyelashes, which i am so proud of, are burnt so they look zig-zag now ==''

cos basically chang made me play with dangerous fire T____T

but meh, i love yuus all <3

IM OBSESSED WITH GOSSIP GIRLS, no, to be more specific

im obsessed with CHUCK BASSSS. fuck i love that guy.

smex smex smexxxxay~^^

"why yu so obssed with me~~ lalalalala~~~"

alright before i go high i shal bring myself low low low low low~~ applebottomjeans~~~ OK STOP LOL

the LOW bit of life,

hmmm is that im sleep deprived

im always hungry but there's no money to buy food

im put in detensions simply cos the teachers hate me TT

my friends dont approve of me watching GG ):

& that im kinda confused about my own feelings, its like, WTH eww i dont like ***! WTF yes i do! ==''

then i end up punching myself in the face x.x yea it hurts.

byebye ppls. i love yus & yu know it.

-luccy x)

p.s

btw, i do miss sumone a fucking lot, the only thing im sure of :L

new start or the past haunting?

been so long, havent felt butterflies
so this lil flutter, twist & turn in my stomach
is it catepillar finally gonna grow wings?
ive known who you are
its been long long long
but i finally realised what you are
how much you move me
how many feelings you make me feel
how i twist my fone around,
should i text, should i not
should i even believe my own feelings
the past haunts me
the future scares me
i wanna grab on to now & present beauty
but even that's slipping
tell me honey, if this may be a new beginning
& not ever the past growing bigger in me
you're unique, but you're also like the one from yesterday
you're special, but you're aslo my uncertanty.