taking babysteps, one last time.

ive beeen living off this song for ages, ignoring the fact that lar hates it and complains to me everyday how shit & old it is :L

in fact, im listening to it as i blog

the lyrics draws me away from fantasy, back into my own reality

"like a nightmare I lived it, it was to big to ignore~"

from broken to frozen

& still, the heart doesnt seem to show any signs of defrosting

trynaa take one step at a time, climbing out from what seems to be a cold destiny

but i keep falling back & falling deep.

sometimes i stand at the bottom, i calm down, watching myself sink

id think, cmon, there ought to be an end to drowning

when i let out the last bit of oxygen, maybe i wont feel the pain anymore

when the first gulp of frozen water finds its way into me, the memories actually flash right before my eyes. so i couldn't find the exit, i cant even stand still, cos there is no limit, no bottom to this aching, bloody, frozen sea of nightmares.

after all this shit, i still refused to call out help

*pouring out emotions. one last time. i promise

listen to yu =/

AVOID AVOID AVOID

the whole fucking world tells me to avoid bad situations

but i remember what yu used to say to me

"stand up for yourself"

& thats the voice im gonna listen to

i kept those words at the back of my head

all this time

this time,

even though, the situation might be created by yu

im just gonna use what yu taught me against yu

standing up for myself, right infront of yu

not fun, but yu said so.

wondering.

i wonder i wonder

does punches feel as hard as they look??

only ever got birthdayy punches

AND THEY HURT LMAO.

i wonder i wonder

does everyone need to be protected by sumone else?

dont people just go weaker & weaker that wayy?

i know i did, it was hard to grow up again after too much care.

i wonder i wonder

are responsibilities hard to take?

caring for someone, making sure they're okayy

when yur in danger yurself, is that really okayy?

i wonder i wonder

everything that might be coming my way

would it hurt;

do i need a shield;

and how responsible can i be?

i wonder i wonder

should i rebel against pain

or should i go buy bandaids.

should i laugh at its facee

or just avoid the obstacle?

i wonder i wonder

if help is actually help

or is copping it more helpful

i wonder i wonder

are yu okay

cos im alrite.

=)

STRESSED.

i just finished watchingg Autumn's Concerto, its horrible when i get my drama craze, i tend to appear offline on msn and ignoree fb n go into this lil world of my own.

its a sweet series srsly, i cried like fucking one tissue box, dad probs thought i was a idiot, locked up in my room, not eating dinner just crying my eyes out :P

i lovee the ending, nice n sweet. and secretly wish RL could be sumthing close.

but nahh, life atm, I'm trying to see the bright side but im soo tired

i'm sick of taking care of ppl sumtimes, just wish the world could leave me alonee

but sumthing called responsibility just doesnt f*** off so yeah, here i am.

i should srsli go eat sum ice-cream n make myself feel beta :P

i dont usually complain about a certain anyone in these blogs, but atm there's this incident thats really pissing me offf.

WHAT MAKES PEOPLE THINK THEY CAN TREAT OTHERS LIKE SHIT?

on fridaayy i felt as if the world has betrayed me.

i hate the feeling of shoving on a tough face when tears are just that close to exploding or sum shit. LOL

im perfectly fine with the LOVE part of betrayal, yea its kool, i needed to shove sum cotton in that hole in my heart anyways .

but friendship? srsli bro, i thought its one of those things that stays, ive never given a second thought to what a friend should be. a friend= a friend forever yeaa? but certain ungrateful ppl just has to bring me down. siggh :P

& ontop of that, i'm like getting threatened ==''

its funny cos im actually not scared, a few bruises dont hurt, i reckon? LOL

well~ through all this time ive stil got a happy bunch around me, its kool to know they'd always be there.

unneccesary ppl- just leave me ALONE.

imma only gonna love ppl to loves me bak ^^

okay me stop complaining. just tired in general, stressful stuff.

hope everyone looking at this blog, choose yur friends carefully. its actually painful getting stabbed in the bak :L

byebye~ tC.